How Adoptive Children Handle Divorce

Being adopted is one of the most positive things that can happen in the young lives of orphan children.  On paper, they are typically provided with advantages that many biological children are not guaranteed.  Largely due to screening and approval requirements, adoptive parents tend to be more educated and better off financially.  Despite this many adopted children can have problems with their behavior as they learn to adjust.  Young children in kindergarten and first grade are more likely to have behavioral issues, such as problems sharing or difficulties handling their anger and frustrations.  Fortunately in most cases adopts see a success rate of 80 percent.  This means that 80 percent of all adoptions lead to finalization, paperwork is signed, and then 98 percent of legal adoptions are successful into adulthood. 

How does divorce affect adopted children?

The reality of divorce is that not every marriage is going to last a lifetime.  Despite our best efforts some relationships are beyond repair and it may be best for everyone involved to part ways and redirect the course of their lives.  If a married couple has children, a legal separation will undoubtedly bring unique challenges.  These issues may become even further compounded if the children were adopted.  This is not to say that people who are bad for each other should stay together for the sake of the children.  Rather, if someone does has adopted children they should be aware of the potential difficulties their children may face. 

Adopted children who deal with divorce can often face self-doubt and esteem issues.  They may think to themselves that they are not deserving of a family, or even worse, they are to blame for the parents leaving one another.  As a parent you may be filled with feelings of guilt, doubt and worry about your life and how your children will cope with the new changes.  Remember that divorce is not the end of the family, rather, a chance at a happier and more stable life.  Below are some things to consider to help your children, and yourself, handle the divorce as smoothly as possible. 

Tips for divorce with adoptive children

  1. Make the needs and best interests of your children come first and foremost.  You and your ex-spouse must realize that children need a stable environment if they are going to thrive and do well in life. 
  2. Be a good example, even if you are angry and frustrated.  Remember that the children love and view both you and your ex-spouse as a parent.  Fight the temptation to bring down the other person, especially in front of your children.  It is never a good idea to try and turn your children against the other parent, even if you believe they are not doing the right thing. 
  3. Explain how their new life is going to work, where they will be living and what they can expect from the divorce.  Listen to your children and provide them with plenty of assurance that things are going to be ok.

Contact Emerald Vale Legal

If you are considering a divorce in Utah contact attorney Joseph Taggart of Emerald Vale Legal to learn more about the process and what you can expect.      

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